Marriage Quiz: Should You Get a Divorce?

Die folgenden Geschichten basieren auf realen Erfahrungen aus meiner Praxis, wurden jedoch anonymisiert und veraendert. Sie dienen als Inspiration fuer Veraenderung und ersetzen keine professionelle Beratung.

• Assess Your Marriage Health: Explore the emotional and practical challenges of divorce, including financial splits, lifestyle changes, and impacts on children, to weigh if ending your relationship is the right step.

• Take the ‘Should You Get a Divorce’ Quiz: Answer targeted questions on listening, commitment levels, and communication about tough topics to gain clarity on your relationship’s viability.

• Make Informed Divorce Decisions: This quick quiz highlights key signs of marital trouble, empowering you to determine if it’s time for a fresh start or renewed efforts in your partnership.

Imagine this: It’s a rainy Tuesday evening, and you’re sitting at the kitchen table, the steam from your cooling cup of tea curling up like unspoken words between you and your partner. The dishes from dinner are still piled in the sink, a silent testament to the exhaustion that’s settled into your home. You’ve been here before—conversations that start with ‘We need to talk’ and end in sighs or slammed doors. Your heart races, that familiar pressure building in your chest, as you wonder if this is the moment everything unravels. Many of us have felt that knot in our stomach, that quiet fear whispering, ‘Is this marriage worth saving, or is it time to let go?’

As Patric Pförtner, a couples therapist with over two decades of guiding people through these stormy waters, I know this scene all too well. It’s not just a snapshot; it’s the reality for so many couples I see in my practice. Divorce isn’t a light switch you flip—it’s a crossroads where emotions tangle like roots underground, pulling at your sense of self, your family, and your future. But here’s what I’ve learned from my own life and countless sessions: clarity comes not from rushing to judgment, but from gently peeling back the layers. Let me walk you through this with you, starting with a tool that’s helped many: a thoughtful quiz to illuminate the shadows in your relationship.

Why This Quiz Matters: Facing the Crossroads Together

You might be asking yourself right now, How do I even begin to assess if divorce is on the horizon? It’s a systemic question, one that invites us to notice the patterns in our daily lives rather than dwell on blame. In my early years as a therapist, I remember a late-night call from a colleague who was grappling with her own marital doubts. She described the trembling hands as she held the phone, the way her partner’s absence felt like a hollow echo in their shared home. That conversation reminded me how isolation amplifies our fears. Today, I share stories like hers not to sensationalize pain, but to normalize it—we all navigate these turbulent seas.

This quiz isn’t a crystal ball; it’s a mirror. It draws from real therapeutic practices, like those in emotionally focused therapy, where we explore attachment bonds and defense mechanisms that keep us stuck. Think of your marriage as a garden: some weeds choke the flowers, but with care, you can nurture growth. We’ll cover listening, commitment, communication, and more, helping you spot if the soil is fertile or barren. And as we go, I’ll weave in insights from clients who’ve walked this path, showing how small shifts led to profound change.

Before we dive in, consider this: How do you notice the emotional temperature in your home? Is it warm and inviting, or chilly and distant? These cues are your compass.

Your Marriage Quiz: Questions to Uncover the Truth

Let’s take a breath and approach this quiz step by step. Answer honestly—no one’s judging, least of all me. I’ve seen how vulnerability like this can be the first step toward healing. Rate each question on a scale from A (strong positive) to D (significant concern), and note your gut feelings. We’ll reflect afterward.

1. Do you think you listen to one another? A. Yes, always—conversations flow like a gentle stream. B. Sometimes, but distractions pull us away. C. Only when it suits us. D. Barely, especially around money matters.

2. How committed are you both to working on the relationship? Here, think about your willingness to invest. A. Fully committed—we’re in this together. B. We’re trying, though it’s uphill. C. Not very; efforts fizzle out. D. We’ve already given up, hearts heavy with resignation.

3. How do you and your partner communicate about difficult topics? This is key—open dialogue is the lifeline of any partnership. A. Openly and honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable. B. We try, but tension builds like storm clouds. C. We avoid them, sweeping issues under the rug. D. Arguments erupt, or we shut down completely.

4. How do you feel when you spend time with your partner? Notice the sensations: warmth in your chest or a knot in your stomach? A. Happy and fulfilled, like coming home. B. Neutral, going through motions. C. Anxious, edges fraying. D. Unhappy, a deep disconnection.

5. Do you and your partner share similar life goals? Vision alignment keeps couples rowing in sync. A. Yes, we’re aligned. B. Mostly, with minor detours. C. Not really; clashes arise. D. Worlds apart, pulling in opposite directions.

6. How often do you resolve conflicts healthily? Healthy resolution builds resilience, like mending a bridge. A. Almost always, with empathy. B. Sometimes, patching things up. C. Rarely, grudges linger. D. Never; wounds fester.

7. Do you still enjoy intimacy with one another? Physical connection mirrors emotional bonds. A. Yes, passionately. B. It’s there, reliably. C. Sporadically. D. Absolutely not, a chasm between you.

8. Do you still go out together? Shared adventures keep the spark alive. A. Yes, regularly. B. Sometimes, when life allows. C. Only if forced. D. No, dates feel like distant memories.

9. Do you still plan holidays together? Future planning signals hope. A. Yes, excitedly. B. Occasionally. C. Only if one leads. D. No, visions diverge.

10. How often do you connect during the day? Small touches maintain the thread. A. Multiple times, eagerly. B. A few. C. Twice, minimally. D. Never, silence reigns.

11. When you envision your future, is your partner in it? This reveals your heart’s direction. A. Absolutely, central. B. Likely. C. Unsure, fogged. D. Definitely not.

12. Have your children sensed tension? Kids absorb the atmosphere like sponges. A. Never; harmony prevails. B. They’ve asked innocently. C. A few times. D. Repeatedly, worried.

13. Is your marriage a positive space for raising children? It shapes their world. A. Absolutely, nurturing. B. Mostly. C. Not really. D. Definitely not, strained.

14. Are you willing to compromise? Flexibility is love’s glue. A. Yes, seamlessly. B. Yes, reluctantly. C. Rarely. D. Never, rigid.

---

Kommen Ihnen diese Muster bekannt vor?

In einem unverbindlichen Erstgespraech koennen wir gemeinsam Ihre Situation besprechen. Als erfahrener Psychologe fuer Paarberatung und Beziehungsthemen begleite ich Sie auf Ihrem Weg.

Jetzt Termin buchen

---

1. What do you feel at your partner’s touch? Sensory cues speak volumes. A. Thrill of pleasure. B. Calm peace. C. Neutral. D. Uncomfortable shivers.

2. What do family and friends observe? Outsiders often see clearly. A. They celebrate you. B. Note rough patches. C. Express concern. D. Urge separation.

3. Do you feel you have a fulfilling marriage? A. Absolutely, rich and rewarding. B. Mostly yes. C. Not sure. D. Not at all, empty.

4. Has infidelity occurred? Betrayal erodes trust like acid. A. No. B. Just emotional flirts. C. Once or twice. D. Multiple times.

5. How often do you fight? Frequency signals underlying issues. A. Rarely, minor. B. Occasionally. C. Weekly. D. Daily, exhausting.

6. Who do you share big news with first? This shows priority. A. Spouse, naturally. B. Children. C. Friend. D. Anyone else.

Take a moment to tally your answers. Mostly A’s? Your marriage hums with vitality. B’s and C’s? There’s work ahead, but hope blooms. D’s dominate? Shadows loom, yet transformation is possible. Remember, this isn’t a verdict—it’s an invitation to deeper inquiry.

A Client’s Journey: From Quiz to Renewal

Let me share Anna and Markus’s story, a couple I worked with last year. They came to me after Anna stumbled upon a similar quiz online, her hands shaking as she scored mostly C’s and D’s. ‘How do you and your partner communicate about difficult topics?’ she asked in our first session, voice cracking. They avoided finances and intimacy like landmines, arguments flaring like wildfires. Markus, the breadwinner, felt the weight of possibly changing your lifestyle if divorce hit—new home, split assets, the kids’ confusion. It echoed my own experience years ago, when my first marriage teetered, and I felt that gut-wrenching pull between security and authenticity.

In therapy, we unpacked attachment patterns: Anna’s anxious clinging masked abandonment fears, while Markus’s stoicism hid vulnerability. We used techniques like ‘soft startups’ from Gottman research—phrasing concerns with ‘I feel’ instead of accusations. How do you notice tension rising? We explored that systemically, noticing physical cues: her clenched jaw, his averted gaze. Over sessions, they rebuilt: date nights reignited sparks, honest talks about goals aligned their paths. Today, they report a fulfilling marriage—absolutely, they say, with renewed commitment.

Another client, Tom, faced a different path. His quiz revealed disconnection— no shared future vision, constant fights. ‘Is my relationship fully committed?’ he wondered. With kids involved, divorce meant co-parenting logistics, but staying in toxicity harmed more. We navigated emotions: grief for lost dreams, relief in release. Tom now thrives in a fresh start, honoring his needs without guilt.

Navigating the Deeper Layers: Emotional Intelligence in Action

Relationships are tapestries of joy and shadow, woven with attachment styles that trace back to childhood. If you’re avoidant, you might sidestep difficult talks; anxious partners crave reassurance. These aren’t flaws—they’re survival strategies. In my practice, I honor contradictory feelings: love mingled with resentment, like sunlight piercing clouds. Rhetorically, what if holding space for both leads to breakthroughs?

Consider communication: Many wonder, How do you and your partner communicate about difficult topics? Start small—set a timer for 10 minutes of uninterrupted listening. Notice the metaphors in your dynamic: Is it a dance or a duel? For commitment, ask: How committed are you both to the relationship? A. Fully committed? Gauge by actions, not words—therapy attendance, shared chores. And lifestyle shifts? Divorce often means possibly changing your lifestyle, but so does stagnation. Weigh finances practically: consult a advisor early.

Children add complexity—their questions like ‘Did you ever ask about divorce?’ pierce the heart. Prioritize their stability; co-parenting plans can foster security even post-separation.

Practical Steps: From Reflection to Resolution

Now, let’s ground this in action. After the quiz:

1. Journal Your Insights: Write three patterns you noticed. How do they show up daily? This builds self-awareness, a cornerstone of change.

2. Initiate a Gentle Conversation: Use ‘I’ statements: ‘I feel disconnected when we avoid tough talks.’ Schedule it—neutral ground helps.

3. Seek Professional Support: A therapist can mediate. If divorce beckons, prepare: list assets, consult lawyers. But first, try couples work—many quizzes like this spark revival.

4. Reconnect Intentionally: Plan a low-pressure outing. Notice feelings: joy or dread? Small wins compound.

5. Evaluate Fulfillment: Do you have a fulfilling marriage? Absolutely? Celebrate. If not, explore why—therapy uncovers roots.

6. Consider the Future: Visualize solo or together. What feels authentic? Honor that.

These steps aren’t linear; they’re a spiral toward clarity. In my experience, couples who engage deeply often find renewal. If divorce calls, approach with compassion—it’s not failure, but evolution. You’ve got this; reach out if needed. Your heart knows the way.

One more FAQ that arises: How do you communicate about difficult topics with your partner? Practice active listening—repeat back what you hear. It transforms walls into bridges. And for commitment: Being fully committed means showing up, day by day, even when it’s hard.

---

Ihr naechster Schritt

Wenn Sie sich in diesem Artikel wiedererkennen, lade ich Sie herzlich ein, den ersten Schritt zu machen. Auf HalloPsychologe.de biete ich Online-Beratung fuer Paare und Einzelpersonen an.

Mehr Impulse finden Sie auf meinem YouTube-Kanal oder folgen Sie mir auf Instagram @psypatric.

Mit herzlichen Gruessen,

Ihr Patric Pfoertner

Jetzt kostenfreies Erstgespraech buchen

---

Weiterfuehrende Artikel

Diese Artikel koennten Sie auch interessieren:

• Marriage Counseling: 5 Reasons Before Divorce
• Marriage Prep: 50 Questions Before I Do
• Marriage Sleep Divorce: What You Need to Know
• Marriage: 15 Signs It’s Worth Saving & Rebuild Tips
• Marriage Separation: Legal vs Divorce Guide