Paarberatung

Partnership: 35 Signs You Truly Love Someone

Discover 35 telling signs of true love in your partnership, from emotional intimacy and butterflies to long-term commitment. Learn how to differentiate infatuation from genuine affection with expert i

Patric Pfoertner

Patric Pfoertner

M.Sc. Psychologe

10 Min. Lesezeit
Aktualisiert: 9. September 2025

Die folgenden Geschichten basieren auf realen Erfahrungen aus meiner Praxis, wurden jedoch anonymisiert und veraendert. Sie dienen als Inspiration fuer Veraenderung und ersetzen keine professionelle Beratung.

  • Recognize Emotional Intimacy in Love: Discover how sharing deepest fears, dreams, and personal stories signals true love, going beyond surface-level crushes for a profound connection.

  • Spot Physical and Behavioral Signs: Learn about butterflies, late-night texts, and an irresistible urge to know everything about your partner as key indicators of genuine affection and partnership.

  • Differentiate True Love from Infatuation: Explore 35 telling signs of real love, including respect, understanding, and long-term hopes, to navigate confusing emotions and confirm if it’s the real thing.

Imagine it’s a quiet evening in your living room, the kind where the soft glow of a lamp casts long shadows across the couch, and you’re sitting there with a cup of tea steaming in your hands. Your partner walks in from the kitchen, carrying two mugs, and without a word, sits beside you. As you talk about nothing and everything—your day, a funny story from work, or that nagging worry about the future—you suddenly realize you’ve been holding hands the whole time. It’s in moments like these, unscripted and tender, that we start to wonder: how do you know you love someone? I’ve been there myself, back when I first met my wife during a rainy afternoon hike. We got lost on the trail, laughing through the downpour, and in that shared vulnerability, something shifted. It wasn’t fireworks; it was a quiet certainty, like finding a missing piece of a puzzle you didn’t know was incomplete.

As a couples therapist with over two decades of experience, I’ve walked alongside hundreds of people navigating these waters. Many come to me confused, their hearts racing with questions about whether what they’re feeling is love or just the thrill of something new. We all know that flutter in the stomach, the way time slips away when you’re together, but true love? It’s deeper, more like roots growing steadily beneath the surface. Today, let’s explore how do you know you love someone: 35 telling signs, not as a checklist, but as gentle guides drawn from real lives and therapeutic insights. I’ll share stories from my practice, a bit of my own journey, and some questions to help you reflect. Because understanding love isn’t about counting signs—it’s about feeling them in your bones.

Opening Up: The Heart of Emotional Connection

Let’s start with the intimacy that sneaks up on you. Picture Anna and Tom, a couple I worked with early in my career. Anna was a reserved architect, always sketching plans for buildings but hesitant to draw the lines of her own heart. One session, she described how, uncharacteristically, she found herself opening up completely to Tom about her childhood fears of abandonment—stories she’d never shared, not even with her closest friends. It wasn’t planned; it just happened over a late-night walk, the city lights blurring as tears mixed with laughter. That vulnerability? It’s a cornerstone of love. When you find yourself, uncharacteristically opening up, sharing those hidden layers, it’s your soul recognizing a safe harbor.

In my own life, I remember the first time I told my wife about the loss of my father when I was young. We were on a beach at sunset, the waves whispering against the shore, and the words tumbled out like they’d been waiting years. That moment taught me: love invites us to be seen, flaws and all. So, ask yourself: How do you notice when you’re holding back less with this person? It’s not about dramatic confessions; it’s the quiet trust that builds, thread by thread.

Another layer is empathy—the way their joys lift you and their pains echo in your chest. Take Sarah, who came to therapy feeling a pressure in her stomach every time her partner, Mike, faced work stress. She’d lie awake, imagining ways to ease his burden, not out of obligation, but because his hurt felt like her own. This emotional resonance is love’s quiet language. Studies on attachment, like those from John Bowlby, show how secure bonds foster this mirroring, releasing oxytocin that binds us closer. If you feel their world as vividly as yours, that’s a sign you’re intertwined.

This image captures that intimate exchange, the subtle warmth of connection in muted tones of blue and gold, reminding us how love softens our edges.

The Pull of Presence: Physical and Everyday Signs

Now, shift to the physical hum—the butterflies that dance in your belly, the way your eyes seek them out in a crowded room. I often tell clients: love isn’t just felt in the mind; it’s a full-body conversation. Remember that euphoric high? It’s like the rush after a good run, endorphins flooding your system. Research from Helen Fisher compares early love to addiction, with dopamine spikes making everything vibrant. But how do you know it’s love, not just infatuation? When the high settles into a steady warmth, and you crave not just their touch, but their presence in the mundane.

Consider Luis and Elena, who met through mutual friends at a bustling café. Luis, a pragmatic engineer, uncharacteristically found himself checking his phone for her texts, heart skipping at each notification. He prioritized her over late nights at the office, skipping a promotion deadline to surprise her with tickets to a concert she loved. These shifts—wanting to see them happy, time flying in their company—signal love’s gravity. You might feel jealous in small doses, not possessively, but as a tender fear of losing this rare fit. How does your body react when they’re near—does it relax or energize in a way that feels right?

Jealousy, when mild, reveals care; it’s the brain’s way of guarding what’s precious. In sessions, I’ve seen couples like these navigate it by naming the feeling: “I feel this twinge because you matter so much.” And the changes? Love nudges us toward growth. I once adjusted my introverted habits for my wife, joining dance classes despite my two left feet, because seeing her light up made the awkward steps worthwhile.

Building Together: Visions of Future and Commitment

Love paints pictures of tomorrow. When you imagine futures intertwined—vacations, homes, even quiet evenings years from now—it’s love sketching blueprints. For Mark and Julia, this emerged during a therapy breakthrough. Julia, after years of guarded independence, started including Mark in decisions, from career moves to weekend plans. Their opinions mattered deeply; disagreements felt like collaborations, not battles. This readiness for commitment, feeling safe to be vulnerable, is love’s promise.

Think about it: do you share successes and failures with them first? Forgive quickly, without grudges weighing you down? These are the unglamorous glues of partnership. In my practice, I explain defense mechanisms—like holding back due to past hurts—using systemic questions: How do grudges show up in your interactions, and what happens when you let them go? True love honors contradictions; it’s okay to feel adventurous yet secure, affectionate yet independent.

One client, David, described how everything reminded him of his partner: a song on the radio, a scent in the air. He made sacrifices willingly—driving hours for her family events—because her happiness amplified his. This isn’t loss; it’s expansion. As we delved deeper, David realized his attachment pattern, rooted in childhood stability, allowed this openness. Love transforms us, not into someone else, but into our fuller selves.


Kommen Ihnen diese Muster bekannt vor?

In einem unverbindlichen Erstgespraech koennen wir gemeinsam Ihre Situation besprechen. Als erfahrener Psychologe fuer Paarberatung und Beziehungsthemen begleite ich Sie auf Ihrem Weg.

Jetzt Termin buchen


Infatuation dazzles like fireworks; love glows like embers. The 35 signs we’ve touched on—staring lost in their eyes, waking with thoughts of them, empathizing deeply, craving closeness, prioritizing their joy—cluster into emotional intimacy, physical pull, and shared vision. But to differentiate, reflect on sustainability. Is it easy being yourself, quirks and all? Do you feel ready for the long haul, not scared but excited?

From my experience, love involves stress too—the vulnerability of opening up completely. Yet, it resolves into safety, oxytocin weaving security. Clients often ask: How do you know you love someone: 35 telling signs? I guide them to notice patterns: uncharacteristically opening up, finding yourself changed for the better, wishing their happiness above all. These aren’t isolated; they’re a symphony.

Let’s group them thoughtfully into seven key realms, each with insights from real couples:

  1. Emotional Resonance: You empathize deeply, feel their pain as yours (like Sarah with Mike), and share fears uncharacteristically. This builds trust.

  2. Daily Presence: Thoughts of them bookend your day; time flies together, and you prioritize their company over routines.

  3. Physical Magnetism: Butterflies, craving touch, behaving affectionately—these highs ground into comforting closeness.

  4. Growth and Adaptation: You embrace their quirks, try new things (sushi dates for Luis), and change positively, inspired by their light.

  5. Empathetic Actions: Wishing their happiness leads to sacrifices, like planning surprises or forgiving quickly, without resentment.

  6. Future Orientation: Imagining life together, seeking their input on decisions, feeling committed not confined.

  7. Inner Security: Feeling safe to be authentic, adventurous yet grounded, with their opinion shaping your world gently.

These realms encompass the 35 signs, from the 5 emotional cues like opening up completely, to 10 behavioral shifts like awaiting texts eagerly, up to visions of partnership. No need for a tally; feel the whole.

A Client’s Journey: From Doubt to Clarity

Let me share Rachel’s story, a vibrant teacher in her thirties who sought therapy amid swirling doubts. She described late-night texts pulling her from sleep, an uncharacteristic urge to know every detail of her partner Ben’s life—from childhood tales to secret dreams. “I find myself, uncharacteristically opening up,” she said, voice trembling slightly, “sharing parts of me I hid for years.” We explored this through sessions, using techniques like emotion-focused therapy to unpack her attachment fears.

Rachel noticed jealousy flares when Ben mentioned friends, but it stemmed from deep care, not control. She prioritized him, skipping social events to comfort him after losses, feeling his sorrow in her gut. Time melted away on walks; she daydreamed of travels together. By session five, she recognized the signs: the ease of being herself, humming off-key without judgment, the words ‘I love you’ bubbling up naturally. We practiced systemic reflections: How do you notice love in the small sacrifices, like adjusting plans for their smile?

Today, Rachel and Ben thrive, their partnership rooted in mutual respect. Her breakthrough? Realizing love isn’t perfect; it’s the willingness to navigate the mess together.

Practical Steps to Embrace Your Feelings

So, where do you go from here? Start with curiosity, not judgment. Journal three moments this week when you felt connected—notice the sensations, like warmth in your chest or lightness in your step. Talk openly: share one vulnerability, observe how it lands. If doubts linger, consider therapy; it’s a safe space to unravel threads.

Remember, love evolves. What feels like a high today becomes steady support tomorrow. As I tell my clients, and remind myself in quieter moments: How does this relationship invite your truest self? Lean into that. You’ve got this—love is worth the wonder.


Ihr naechster Schritt

Wenn Sie sich in diesem Artikel wiedererkennen, lade ich Sie herzlich ein, den ersten Schritt zu machen. Auf HalloPsychologe.de biete ich Online-Beratung fuer Paare und Einzelpersonen an.

Mehr Impulse finden Sie auf meinem YouTube-Kanal oder folgen Sie mir auf Instagram @psypatric.

Mit herzlichen Gruessen,

Ihr Patric Pfoertner

Jetzt kostenfreies Erstgespraech buchen


Weiterfuehrende Artikel

Diese Artikel koennten Sie auch interessieren:

Artikel teilen

Patric Pfoertner

Geschrieben von

Patric Pfoertner

M.Sc. Psychologe mit Schwerpunkt auf positive Psychologie. Bietet psychologische Online-Beratung fur Menschen, die mehr Wohlbefinden in ihrem Leben suchen.

Mehr uber unser Team

Brauchst Du Unterstutzung?

Unser Team aus erfahrenen Psychologen ist fur Dich da. Buche jetzt Dein kostenloses Erstgesprach.

Gratis Erstgesprach buchen
Zuruck zum Magazin