Relationship Responses: 20 Things to Say When They Like You

Die folgenden Geschichten basieren auf realen Erfahrungen aus meiner Praxis, wurden jedoch anonymisiert und veraendert. Sie dienen als Inspiration fuer Veraenderung und ersetzen keine professionelle Beratung.

• Honest Responses to Confessions of Feelings: Discover 20 thoughtful ways to reply when someone says they like you, ensuring you stay truthful and respectful to build trust and avoid awkwardness.

• Reciprocate with Confidence if Mutual: Learn phrases to thank them for their bravery and express your shared interest, turning a nerve-wracking moment into a positive romantic opportunity.

• Graceful Declines for Unrequited Interest: Get expert tips on politely communicating if feelings aren’t mutual, helping you navigate the situation kindly without leading them on.

Imagine this: It’s a quiet evening in a cozy café, the kind with soft jazz playing in the background and the aroma of fresh coffee lingering in the air. You’re sipping your latte, chatting with a colleague you’ve always enjoyed working with, when suddenly their voice drops, and they say, “I’ve been wanting to tell you… I like you, more than just as a friend.” Your heart skips a beat. The steam from your cup rises like a veil between you, and in that instant, the world narrows to just this table, this confession hanging in the air like an unspoken question. We’ve all been there, or somewhere close to it—those moments when someone’s vulnerability cracks open a door to deeper connection, or perhaps to the need for gentle boundaries.

As Patric Pförtner, a couples therapist and psychologist with over two decades of guiding people through the tangled emotions of relationships, I know how these confessions can stir up a whirlwind inside. They touch on our deepest attachments, those invisible threads woven from childhood experiences and past heartaches. You might feel a rush of warmth if the feelings are mutual, or a knot in your stomach if they’re not—like the pressure building before a storm. But here’s what I’ve learned from my own life and countless sessions: these interactions, especially concerning matters of the heart, are opportunities to practice authenticity and empathy, not pitfalls to dread.

Let me share a personal anecdote to ground this. Early in my career, fresh out of my training in Berlin, I found myself on the receiving end of such a confession. It was during a weekend workshop on emotional intelligence, and a fellow participant, a warm-hearted teacher named Lena, pulled me aside after a group exercise. Her hands trembled slightly as she spoke, mirroring the vulnerability she was expressing. I liked her spirit, but my heart was elsewhere, committed to building my practice and healing from a recent breakup. I remember pausing, feeling the weight of her courage, and responding not with a scripted line, but from a place of genuine appreciation. That moment taught me that how we handle these conversations isn’t about perfection; it’s about honoring the human connection in front of us.

In my therapy room, I’ve seen how these moments ripple through lives. Take Anna and Markus, a couple I worked with last year. Anna had confessed her feelings to Markus years earlier, but his hesitant response—rooted in his avoidant attachment style—left her feeling dismissed. It wasn’t until they sought relationship counseling that they unpacked it. Markus admitted he’d frozen because his own fears of rejection echoed his parents’ distant marriage. Through systemic questions like, “How do you notice your body responding when vulnerability arises?” we explored those layers. Today, their bond is stronger, a testament to how addressing these early interactions can fortify relationships.

This image evokes that intimate exchange, reminding us of the warmth and nuance in sharing feelings.

Now, you might be wondering: What to say when someone says they like you: 20 things that feel natural and true? As a psychologist, I don’t believe in rigid lists—life isn’t a checklist—but in guiding you through responses grounded in real therapeutic practice. Instead of 20 isolated phrases, let’s weave them into the fabric of understanding, drawing from client stories and psychological insights. We’ll categorize them into heartfelt reciprocation, thoughtful pauses, and gentle declines, ensuring each feels like a step toward clearer interactions.

First, consider the thrill of mutual feelings. If their words light a spark in you too, responding with confidence can turn tension into tenderness. Picture Sarah, a client in her mid-30s, who came to me after a confession from her longtime friend Tom. During our session, she described the butterflies in her stomach, like a flock of birds taking flight. I encouraged her to lean into that, using phrases that acknowledge their bravery while mirroring her own. One way: “Thank you—it’s nice to hear that. I feel the same, and I’m grateful you shared.” This simple honesty builds trust, as relationship coach Shula Melamed notes, forming the foundation of any healthy connection.

Or, if the timing feels off but the interest is there, try: “I like you too, but I need some time to think about this.” Sarah used a variation with Tom, saying, “That’s brave of you to tell me. I’m surprised, but in a good way—I appreciate your honesty, and I want to explore this slowly.” We role-played it in therapy, helping her notice how her shoulders relaxed when she owned her pace. This approach honors attachment patterns; if you’re anxiously attached, it prevents rushing; if avoidant, it invites gradual openness.

Another client, David, reciprocated boldly after his partner Elena confessed during a evening walk. “I’m interested in getting to know you better too, but let’s take things slow,” he said, drawing from our discussions on boundary-setting. It transformed their friendship into a budding romance, strengthening their relationship through clear communication.

But what if the feelings aren’t mutual? These conversations can feel like navigating a narrow bridge over rushing water—delicate, with the risk of hurt on either side. I recall my own hesitation years ago with Lena; I chose, “I’m flattered, but I don’t feel the same way,” delivered with eye contact and a soft tone. It stung for her briefly, but preserved our professional respect.

For clients like Julia, who faced an unrequited confession from coworker Ben, the key was gentleness without ambiguity. “That’s really sweet of you, but I’m not interested in dating right now,” she practiced in session. We explored her defense mechanism—people-pleasing from a fear of conflict—and reframed it. Julia noticed the pressure in her chest easing as she spoke truthfully, asking systemically, “How does it feel in your body when you set this boundary?” This not only let Ben down kindly but also empowered her interactions.

If friendship is the path forward, responses like, “I appreciate your honesty, but I see you as more of a friend,” can preserve bonds. Take Robert and Clara, siblings in spirit through a shared hobby group. When Clara confessed, Robert replied, “I’m so glad you feel comfortable sharing, but I think you’re a great friend, and I don’t want to risk that.” In counseling, we delved into their histories—Clara’s anxious need for closeness, Robert’s fear of loss—and it deepened their platonic trust.

Sometimes, external factors complicate things. If you’re already committed, honesty shines: “I’m sorry, but I’m already seeing someone.” Or, for broader unreadiness: “I’m not ready for a relationship right now, but I’d love to get to know you better as a friend.” These phrases, drawn from real sessions, avoid leading on while valuing their vulnerability.

Now, let’s address those moments of uncertainty, where emotions swirl like leaves in autumn wind. Needing time isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom. Phrases such as, “I’m not sure how to respond right now—can we talk more later?” or “I need some time to process this, but thank you for being honest,” give space for reflection. In my practice, I often recommend journaling prompts: “How do you notice your feelings shifting as you sit with this?” This systemic inquiry uncovers hidden layers, like unspoken fears from past rejections.

One couple, Mia and Lukas, navigated this beautifully. Lukas confessed during a tense dinner; Mia, overwhelmed, said, “I don’t know what to say—let’s take some time.” In therapy, we unpacked her contradictory feelings—attraction mixed with doubt from her insecure attachment. Months later, they emerged clearer, their relationship strengthened by that pause.

As we delve deeper, consider how these responses tie into broader dynamics. Conversations like these reveal our emotional intelligence: Do we honor the full spectrum—joy, confusion, disappointment? In seeking relationship counseling, many clients discover tools to strengthen your relationships. For instance, I guide partners through active listening exercises, where one mirrors back, “It sounds like you’re feeling vulnerable—am I hearing that right?” This validates without assuming reciprocity.

From a psychological lens, confessions trigger our limbic system, that ancient part of the brain wired for connection and survival. If unrequited, it can activate grief-like responses, echoing attachment wounds. But with empathy, we rewire toward resilience. I’ve seen it in groups: Participants sharing stories, realizing, “We’re not alone in this dance of hearts.”

---

Kommen Ihnen diese Muster bekannt vor?

In einem unverbindlichen Erstgespraech koennen wir gemeinsam Ihre Situation besprechen. Als erfahrener Psychologe fuer Paarberatung und Beziehungsthemen begleite ich Sie auf Ihrem Weg.

Jetzt Termin buchen

---

To answer a common query: What to say when someone says they like you, but you don’t like him back? Start with gratitude—“Thank you for sharing; it takes courage.” Then, clarity: “I value you as a person, but I don’t feel the same romantically. I hope we can remain friends.” Follow with space, respecting his process. In one session, young Alex used this with his admirer, noticing his own relief, like a weight lifting from his chest.

Expanding on that, here are nuanced ways to handle declines, beyond a simple list—think of them as building blocks tailored to context:

1. Acknowledge and Appreciate: “That’s brave of you—I appreciate your honesty.” This sets a tone of respect.

2. Be Direct Yet Kind: “I’m flattered, but I don’t see us as a romantic match.” Avoids mixed signals.

3. Preserve Friendship if Desired: “I think you’re a great person, but let’s keep our friendship strong.”

4. Own Your Situation: “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.” Centers it on you, not them.

5. Offer Closure: “I care about you, but I don’t feel that way romantically.” Ends with positivity.

6. Invite Dialogue: “I’m glad we’re talking about this—how are you feeling?” Opens systemic exploration.

7. Set Boundaries Gently: “This means a lot, but pursuing a relationship isn’t right for me.” Protects both parties.

These seven approaches, honed from years of practice, cover most scenarios without overwhelming. For reciprocation, mirror with enthusiasm: “I feel the same—let’s see where this goes!” Or paced: “I’m excited, but want to take it slow.”

In especially concerning matters, like workplace dynamics, I advise documenting and seeking HR if needed, but always prioritizing emotional safety. These conversations can heal or harm; choose words that nurture.

As a psychologist, I emphasize that no response is one-size-fits-all. Tune into your intuition: How does your gut react? What old stories surface? In sessions, we use metaphors—like relationships as gardens, needing honest sunlight to grow.

Finally, practical steps to implement this in your life:

1. Prepare Internally: Before any potential talk, reflect: “How do I notice my emotions in vulnerable moments?” Journal for clarity.

2. Practice Aloud: Role-play with a trusted friend or mirror, feeling the words in your mouth.

3. Respond in the Moment: Breathe deeply, maintain eye contact, and speak from the heart.

4. Follow Up: If needed, check in later: “How are you processing our talk?”

5. Seek Support: If these interactions stir deeper issues, consider seeking relationship counseling. It’s a space to strengthen your relationships with professional guidance.

6. Self-Care After: Walk in nature, talk to a confidant—honor your feelings too.

Remember, every confession is a gift of trust. By responding with warmth and truth, you not only navigate the moment but contribute to healthier connections for all. If this resonates, ask yourself: What small step can you take today toward more authentic exchanges? I’m here, through my work, to walk that path with you.

---

Ihr naechster Schritt

Wenn Sie sich in diesem Artikel wiedererkennen, lade ich Sie herzlich ein, den ersten Schritt zu machen. Auf HalloPsychologe.de biete ich Online-Beratung fuer Paare und Einzelpersonen an.

Mehr Impulse finden Sie auf meinem YouTube-Kanal oder folgen Sie mir auf Instagram @psypatric.

Mit herzlichen Gruessen,

Ihr Patric Pfoertner

Jetzt kostenfreies Erstgespraech buchen

---

Weiterfuehrende Artikel

Diese Artikel koennten Sie auch interessieren:

• Relationship Tests: 17 Signs She’s Testing You & How to Pass
• Relationship Quiz: Does She Like You Signs
• Dating Signals: 13 Ways Guys Hint They Like You Via Text
• Relationship Expectations: 7 Tips for Lasting Harmony
• Relationship: 20 Signs Your Feelings Are Real in Love